


By Any Means Necessary

by imaginary_iby



Category: Hawaii Five-0 (2010)
Genre: Laser Tag, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-10
Updated: 2016-03-10
Packaged: 2018-05-25 19:29:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,524
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6207580
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/imaginary_iby/pseuds/imaginary_iby
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>3.17, Danny: "Working with you is harrowing enough, okay?  I do not need you hunting me for sport."</p><p>The ohana embarks upon an epic game of laser tag, deep in the Hawaiian rainforest.  Teams are formed, alliances are struck, and painful betrayals unfold.</p>
            </blockquote>





	By Any Means Necessary

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by [THIS](http://peggyswilliams.tumblr.com/post/140769386299/halleydoedog-take-me-laser-tagging-and-then) post. I suggest you don't click until after you've read, or you'll spoil the surprise. ;D
> 
> For Kristen - hopefully this brings a little bit of cheer, after what has been a difficult few weeks. Sorry about the avalanche of fluff, but, well, y'know. I'm not.

Rifle at the ready, Steve flits from tree to tree, expertly using shadow and foliage to camouflage his movement. It’s been 5 minutes since last enemy contact, but it’s only a matter of time until he locates his quarry. Dropping a knee to the dusty earth, he scans the ground for signs to guide his pursuit: a footprint, a broken stem, discarded rubbish, anything will do.

It doesn’t take long. Trained eyes spot a candy wrapper beside the gnarly end of a log. Bright red, rectangular, perforated edges – Skittles, clearly, and Steve knows immediately whose trail he is on.

“Max!” someone whispers from up ahead, the hiss in their voice so loud that they may as well have screamed. “Get back here!”

Lightening fast, Steve blends into the shadows of a mighty mango tree. 

Barely a second later, Max appears, scurrying out of cover. “One minute!” he replies, making a bee-line for the wrapper. “The Hawaiian rainforest is an irreplaceable gift. I would be remiss to leave my rubbish behind.”

“Sshhhh,” the unknown whisperer replies. Steve has an inkling that it’s Samantha Grover. He has to hand it to her, she’s trying to protect her laser-tag buddy, even if whispering isn’t tactically sound. 

Sure enough, Samantha’s head pokes out from between a tangle of vines. “Max! You’re going to get us-”

Steve shifts out from the protective mass of the mango tree, confident that he can take out his enemies before they even raise their rifles. One zap, two, and their vests light up, flashing obnoxiously to signify successful hits.

Samantha sighs, chin dropping to her chest. “-killed.”

The whole thing is, perhaps, not _entirely_ fair: a trained Navy SEAL against a seventeen year old and a slightly awkward medical examiner. Still. Such is the nature of battle. Steve brushes his guilt aside and offers the enemy a smile.

“Sorry guys,” he says, before melting back into the shadows.

Distracted by the sound of Max and Sam tromping to the re-spawn point, Steve almost doesn’t hear someone calling his name. He grips his rifle, startled that someone has managed to sneak so close to him.

“Pssst,” the new voice says. “Steve.”

Steve would know that voice anywhere. Danny.

Torn between his instinct to go wherever Danny is, and the knowledge that Danny is on the opposing team, Steve freezes in indecision.

“Danny?” he asks, to buy himself time.

“Steve,” Danny says again, soft and urgent. His face, a little sweaty and dirty, appears around the many limbs of a banyan tree. “C’mere.” The hand not holding his laser rifle – which is down by his side, not a threat – beckons Steve over.

Unsure, Steve scans the terrain, before finally giving in and walking swiftly to Danny’s side.

“What’s wrong? Are you hurt?” He scans his partner for signs of damage – he might, just might, be persuaded to turn on his own team if one of them has (accidentally) injured Danny.

“Nope,” Danny says cheerily, before hooking an arm around Steve’s neck and hauling him close. Their noses bump, and Steve goes cross-eyed for just long enough to see his partner’s bright smile, before his eyelids flutter shut as they kiss.

And kiss, and kiss. His rifle falls from his grip, strap taking up the slack as he wraps his arms around Danny’s body, hands squeezing Danny’s ass, rubbing the small of his back, sliding all over, restless and wanting. A part of Steve’s brain is screaming that he should be on his guard, he has a team to protect and enemies to catch. But, _damn_. Danny’s thigh shoved between his legs is not something that Steve can just ignore.

“Hiya,” Danny says, smiling and laughing, pressing flush against Steve’s body and rocking his hips.

“Hey,” Steve offers, dazed. The rainforest blurs, and all he can see is his partner before him. The dirty blond of his hair, the endearing grey of his stubble; vividly blue eyes and sweet pale lips, shiny, perfect for nibbling on. Steve leans in, intent on just that, when he feels something hard press against his side, right under his ribs.

“Sorry babe,” Danny says, mischief in his voice.

Before Steve can even figure out what’s going on, let alone react accordingly, his vest is flashing, bright red and orange. 

He’s been hit.

Danny scuttles back, cackling, and he doubles over when Steve gasps.

“You shot me!” Steve splutters, stunned. “You shot me!”

“I’m sorry!” Danny howls, but the fact that he’s now clinging to a tree to keep himself upright, weakens his case. “I’m sorry! They made me!” He hooks a thumb over his shoulder, and sure enough, Grover and Kono emerge from the foliage. 

_Kono,_ Steve thinks darkly – stealthy, deadly, number one on his hit list - and now she’s here and there’s nothing he can do about it.

“Man, you were killing us,” Grover says. He wipes an imaginary tear from his cheek. “We had to do something! You’d already taken out Catherine and Eric! And Max and Samantha – my baby girl, don’t think we won’t be talking about that, McGarrett. This was our last resort.”

“Yep.” Kono cackles. “We put our faith in the power of Danny’s hips and lips.”

Danny has the decency to turn a little pink.

“Hey now,” Grover grumbles, swatting a fly away from his face. “I already told you, I don’t wanna be hearin’ about no hips‘n’lips, okay?”

Danny, having finally caught his breath, pushes off from the tree and grips his rifle: steady, sure, determined. Now he’s a threat. “Sorry, babe,” he says again, clearly anything but.

Steve growls, but he can only watch as the three enemy combatants melt back into the foliage. Just before they disappear completely, Danny turns around and winks.

This means war.

\- 

Despite having to traipse back to the re-spawn point, Steve is lucky enough to witness Kono’s downfall. Chin and Abby flank her like a pair of raptors, Mindy the seemingly-innocent bait, and it is glorious to watch. 

Grace, in a display of sneakiness that both impresses and alarms Steve, takes Jerry and Adam out, before finally being pounced upon by Abby. Kamekona, acting as team sniper, fells Danny, and while Steve does enjoy this immensely, he’s still plotting his own revenge. 

Duke kills Grover in an out-right duel, a race of speed, and _damn_ Steve does not want to go up against the Sergeant any time soon. Kono takes Chin out, shooting him more than necessary in apparent retribution for that one time he told her parents she’d gotten drunk at a party. Steve catches Eric and Catherine, before falling prey to Grover and Gracie.

It’s a dizzying mix of flashing lights, sneaky partnerships, muddy clothes and loathed re-spawn points, and it has all come down to this moment: 

Steve, one hand aiming his rifle at Danny, the other clutching Gracie close, a human shield. She wriggles and laughs, and Steve has to fight the urge to tickle her.

“Put it down, Danno, and nobody has to get hurt.”

Danny gapes, scandalized. “My baby! You’re using my baby as a shield!”

“You wanna shoot me?” Steve asks, shifting himself and his shield closer to a boulder, wanting something solid at his back. Kono and Catherine should be back in play by now, and Steve isn’t taking any chances. “You’re gonna have to go through her.”

“Do it, Danno!” Grace orders, clearly willing to sacrifice herself to the cause.

Danny wavers, unsure, and Steve takes his chance, firing once, twice, three times, gleeful when Danny’s vest flashes. He can’t even bring himself to care when Grace wiggles away, shooting him in the chest, because he’s brought Danny down and that’s all that matters. 

He flops to the ground, exhausted but flushed with the success of revenge, and just as he’s pondering the clouds, peals of laughter ring out. Both teams emerge from amidst the trees, clapping and laughing, and Samantha lifts Gracie’s rifle hand high in the air.

“Victory!” she shouts, and the girls hug and dance around, before being joined by their team-mates. “Vic-tor-y! Vic-tor-y! Vic-tor-y! ” The team keeps chanting, until Adam does the honourable thing and hitches Kono over his shoulder in a fireman’s carry, and then everybody’s too busy laughing again.

It’s a short trek back to the cars, and Steve is just shrugging into a clean shirt when he feels familiar arms wind around him. Danny snugs up against his back, cheek pressing to the space between his shoulderblades.

Steve huffs.

“Aw, c’mon babe.” Steve feels Danny turn his face, nose nuzzling against clean cotton. “Don’t be like that,” Danny continues.

Steve shifts around in Danny’s embrace, leaning against the bed of his truck and inspecting the Ohana over the top of Danny’s head. Everybody is busy cleaning and changing and eating, Rachel and Charlie – having gone for a walk, in deference to Charlie’s age – now plying the weary warriors with ham and cheese sandwiches.

Satisfied that everybody is otherwise engaged, Steve slouches until he’s nose to nose with his partner. “Blow jobs. Plural. That’s how you can make it up to me.” 

Danny smiles, sly and cheeky and ridiculously fond. “Deal.”

**Author's Note:**

> Team A: Max, Samantha, Danny, Grace, Kono, Grover, Catherine, Eric 
> 
> Team B: Chin, Abby, Steve, Mindy, Jerry, Kamekona, Adam, Duke.


End file.
